Courage, Courtesy and Compassion

“Courage, Courtesy and Compassion” are the core values of the school my son attended - the 3 C’s they instil in their students. A noble aim. But from personal experience, those values don’t seem to filter through into real life beyond the school gates.

Take my son. He’s applied for over 40 graduate training schemes and other roles since last year. To date? Only a handful of responses – the majority haven’t even replied to tell him they’re not progressing his application.

This isn’t just disheartening for young people, indeed for any job seeker. It knocks your confidence. When you send out application after application and hear nothing back, it doesn’t just make you feel overlooked - it makes you question your worth. Your abilities. It’s actively damaging.

I’ve been there myself. Over the years, I’ve applied for countless jobs. In the ‘old’ days - when applications were handwritten letters and real people read them - you’d always get a reply. It might’ve taken a few weeks, but someone had the basic human decency to acknowledge you. I once gave someone a huge opportunity - enough to save their business – so much so they called me their ‘guardian angel’. Try to get in touch now? Silence. As if I don’t exist.

They call it ‘ghosting’. I call it plain bloody rude.

It’s everywhere - this slow erosion of common courtesy: Walking three abreast down a busy high street; face glued to a phone, bumping into oncoming pedestrians; headphones blasting out on packed trains; loud phone calls at the checkout in Tesco about your partner’s bunions (true story). And don’t get me started on the simple act of using your car’s indicator – they all have one. Use it! Running late? Send a quick message. Maybe even - brace yourself - apologise!

We seem to live in bubbles of self-isolation now. Unaware of our behaviour or its impact on others. I thought Covid might have changed things for the better - those moments of kindness, the neighbourly check-ins, the Thursday night applause. But somehow, we’ve gone backwards.

Even our supposed world leaders model discourtesy - bullying, lying and humiliating their peers in front of a global audience. Contrast that with Zelensky’s grace, dignity, and calm. That’s courage. That’s courtesy. That’s how it’s done.

The truth is, it’s not hard. We don’t need to perform acts of heroism. Just reply to people. Say thank you. Be honest. Be present. Be kind. A little courage, courtesy and compassion - just a little - could genuinely change the way we live and relate to one another.

And honestly? It would mean the world to someone like my son, who’s still out there waiting for someone in HR just to say, “Thanks for your time.”

Benenden Magazine, April 2025